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Jaded Raw Review - 4/13/13

April 17th, 2013 (06:56 pm)

Jaded Raw Thoughts – 4/15/13
Misc.: I guess JBL is a permanent commentator now. No problem with that. Crowd is pretty into things tonight. They show all of the Alberto/Ziggler match from last week.

Backstage: 3MB are balsy to be calling out The Shield. Alberto gets checked out in the back. Vickie and Brad are interrupted by Teddy Long about Alberto and comes up with Swagger Vs Ziggler for later. Ugh, Cena. Random Henry spearing Sheamus scared the fuck out of me. Booker makes a Triple Threat match between Alberto, Dolph, and Jack after getting pissed at Teddy for overstepping his bounds.

Randy Orton and Sheamus
Vs Big Show: JBL sticks up for Show’s actions at Wrestlemania. Shemus wrestles for the first part against Show. Awesome moment with Sheamus lifting Show on his shoulders and does a backwards slam on him. Orton scores the win with an RKO. Nice way to kick off Raw.

3MB: They call the Shield a “Cover Band”. Brock comes out instead of Shield. It was nice knowing them. Brock kills them and Heyman stops him from killing Heath any further. Heyman gets on the mike to recap what happened to Brock and Hunter at Wrestlemania. He then makes an offer for a rematch at Extreme Rules between Hunter and Brock in a “Down and dirty, old school, steel cage match”.

Kofi Kingston Vs Antonio Cesario: Cesario does a strange yodel thing as he comes out. Alright match. Commercial during match. Some pretty good action, including a great mid-air catch to back breaker reversal. Kofi scores the pin after a Trouble in Paradise and he’s now the new U.S. Champion. Josh Matthews interviews Kofi in the ring and he’s happy that he brought the belt back to the US.

Dolph Ziggler: Dolph is extremely proud over his win and boasts that he’s just too good. Alberto and Ricardo come out during Dolph’s rant, both with bad legs. Alberto wants a rematch right now, but Dolph tells him no, throwing in a random “Cool Story, Bro”. Vickie comes out and agrees with Alberto, giving him the match right now. They’re about to go at it when Swagger and Zeb come out suddenly. Zeb says it was because of Swagger that Dolph got to beat Alberto last week, saying that Swagger deserves a shot at the title. Alberto knocks Swagger out of the ring and wants to fight. Swagger goes after Alberto and goes after his bad leg. He puts him in the “Patriot” Lock and gets pulled off by refs.

Kane and Daniel Bryan
Vs Prime Time Players: It’s revealed that there will be a six man tag match next week against Shield with Daniel and Kane working with Taker. Awesome. Match is pretty good, too. “Call PETA because we’ve got a flying goat!” – JBL. Team Hell No win.

Ryback: Ryback’s reasoning for attacking Cena was because he hated being low on the ladder and brings up how fans hate Cena. He calls himself Kryptonite to Cena’s Superman and that Cena didn’t have his back when Shield attacked him. Lots of continuity brought up here. Really good promo.

R-Truth Vs Wade Barrett: Ok match. R-Truth somehow manages to pin Wade after a DDT.

Great Khali and Santino Vs Team Rhode Scholars: Ugh. Rhode Scholars win.

Fandango: King recaps last weeks awesomeness of everyone Fandangoing and how it’s become a meme. “Jerry, how are your hips doing?” That’s… that’s a little personal, Fandango. Jerry decides to GTFO after Fandango asks him to move his hips. Crowd is piss pour in their reactions to Fandango teaching us how to say his name. Fandango tells everyone to “Go Fandango Yourselves”.

Jack Swagger (with Zeb Colter) Vs Dolph Ziggler (with AJ and Big E): A pretty good match. Crowd seems to be a bit more into it now, but not to the extreme it was last week. Cole wants to know what’s in AJ’s head. Dude, I don’t even wanna go there. Swagger pins Dolph. Sudden Alberto attack on Swagger, leading to Jack getting kicked off the stage and put in a Cross-Arm breaker.

Punk: Crowd finally woke up when Punk’s music hit. Random “Raw is Generico” sign is random. Punk’s promo is… quite powerful. Very akin to Shawn’s “Lost my smile” speech back in ’97. Punk also appears to be taking time off. Good on him, he needs a break.

Nikki Bella Vs Katlyn: Ugh, pee break. Typical twin switch-a-roo to let the Bellas win.

Ryback/Cena confrontation: Mixed reaction for Cena. Cena demands Ryback to come out, which he happily does. Alight promo from Cena. Camera accidentally cuts to the Shield preparing for an attack during Cena’s promo. Oops. Almost seems like a rebirth of the Hogan/Macho feud. Cena eggs Ryback on for a fight. Ryback leaves to boos. Shield comes out and Cole and King try to cover up the slip up earlier. Ryback stays on the rap as Cena gets ready to fight in the ring. Tense moments as Shield attack Cena first, three on one. Ryback stays on the ramp. Cena gets pounded on. Ryback turns and leaves. Cena gets the Triple-Powerbomb. Crowd chants “One More time”. Shield and Ryback stare down each other before Ryback fully leaves – end show.

Overall: Well it wasn’t as awesome as it was last week, but it was an ok show. We got some advancements in feuds like Show/Orton and Sheamus, Ziggler/Alberto/Swagger, and the fall out of Punk’s match with Taker, which was a pretty powerful moment. Some good matches like the Team Hell No match and Kofi’s match. Ryback’s got a good reason for his feud with Cena and I’m interested in seeing what’s going to happen. Overall, I give the show a 6.5 out of ten, mostly for some good and some bad, including some dull matches. Wonder what’s going to happen with Punk.

Oh, and did Sheamus take the last Snickers from the vending machine or stink up the last available stall in the men’s room, because what did he do to get Mark Henry suddenly spearing him in the back?